And All that Food

I had fun this past Friday. It was a long day, which I really like. You know, those days that feel like three or four days. Whatever. It snowed. That's almost all that mattered.
Just hung around and watched Chicago with Travis and Kevin and talked with Ashley and it was just fun. I'm glad everything happened the way it did. Yup.

I'm sorry if this is kind of all over the place, but I'm feeling really sick right now (almost spelled 'sick' as 'shict').

Today is turning out to be a very bad day; however, I may be going to the mall and that should redeem everything. I hope I'm still not shict.

I wish I could write a little more about how I'm feeling about things, but I can't bring myself to do it. That's okay. Maybe later.

Bye-bye.

To all the men trying to bring back chivalry and all its virtues:
Please, don't. You're making a fool (and a pussy) out of yourself. Just cut it out.


In other, great news, Travis and I have come up with an excellent idea for another movie. Details to follow, perhaps.

Get Back, Jojo

Hello. I'm probably not going to write anything regarding the last entry, which is just bullshit and should remain at that. Silly for women to think that men have feelings, too! I mean hell, if a girl is upset and keeps telling her boyfriend to get the fuck out, it should make sense that he should stay. That's what we really want. Even if that were true (which, admittedly... sometimes, yes) what the hell are you thinking. That last entry was about abuse. I'm done with it. (Smack, spill)

Onto more recent and better things. I had something really cool to say, I thought of it in the shower but I've forgotten it. Then I talked about forgetting it for a sentence. Andrea, get it together.

Without being too open about this, something changed recently, somehow, and things are getting so much brighter and warmer and real. It's great. I've been waiting for this for a while. I'm happy its here.

So I'm thinking of writing something (a story? a... script? something?) and then collaboratin' with Travis. To make a movie. I have to decide what it's going to be about. I thought of some ideas recently, which is good to know that something creative in me is moving again. I thought about a short film I could write, and surprisingly it had one character (that isn't the surprising part), it was that it was a woman. I won't go into this too much, but for very good and very legitimate reasons I don't like women in my stories, etc. I can never find the right one (character that is) and even if I did, I wouldn't trust anyone with her. It's tricky. Men are neutral. If it's a woman you think too hard about the fact that it's a woman. That's how I feel anyway. But right, movie.
As I was trying to fall asleep last night I kind of settled on the idea that I would do something around or related to Christmas. Travis and I really love Christmas, and it just feels right to have this first partnership (if you will) be heavily (to an extent, of course) centered around something we both can connect to. Makes sense. If this works out and something incredible happens and we become an incredible duo in the film industry, I won't need to fall back on such cheesy things as Christmastime. Still, at the risk of sounding like a total bitch, Travis and I can naturally connect in life, and I can only imagine that it translates to something we both love to do. I have faith in this. I really hope that whatever connection we have can be, I don't know, felt in whatever product comes out of this. I can't explain to you why I want that, but I do.
I don't know if Travis knows this, but since things are starting to change and I'm trying to open my wings a little more, I've been interested in film and stuff for a long time now and I always thought it would be some kind of amazing to be involved in something like that. For a while I was content just writing, but even if you get published in a way I feel like it's still more for yourself. I know that's not how everyone thinks, but it is for me. I always felt like it would be such a rush to see something you wrote and people you created and situations you've experienced in one way or another -- I don't know. It's something I wish I could really be just a little more a part of. Part of me is dying to be. I don't know if he knows that. To that extent, anyway.

I have alot of work to do, but I might be trying to flex my writing muscle a little today. Also, I'm going to (I WILL DO IT I WILL!) actually start a "Movie Club"... "Film Club" whatever. I don't care what it's called, the point is there is going to be movies and they will be watched and enjoyed. As primitive as this sounds, theres a little more of a structure to it and I'm really excited about the idea. I have 5 or so people behind me, and I don't think it would be hard to find people when the basis of this group is "watch some movies talk about them talk about directors whatever we'll have fun". It'll work.

I watched The Lives of Others in German Film. I liked this movie alot, however sappy it was. I haven't felt that good at the end of a movie since, hell, since I've seen A Mighty Wind.

I'm out of here. I have to eat and do work. Gatdaymn.

I'm sorry this is going to be the only thing in this post, but...

When she walks away from you mad
[ Follow her ]

When she stare's at your mouth
[ Kiss her ]

When she pushes you or hit's you
[ Grab her and dont let go ]

When she start's cursing at you
[ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]

When she's quiet
[ Ask her whats wrong ]

When she ignore's you
[ Give her your attention ]

When she pull's away
[ Pull her back ]

When you see her at her worst
[ Tell her she's beautiful ]

When you see her start crying
[Just hold her and dont say a word ]

When she's scared
[ Protect her ]

When she lay's her head on your shoulder
[ Tilt her head up and kiss her ]

When she steal's your favorite shirt
[ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]

When she tease's you
[ Tease her back and make her laugh ]

When she doesnt answer for a long time
[ reassure her that everything is okay ]

When she say's that she love's you
[ she really does more than you could understand ]

When she grab's at your hands
[ Hold her's and play with her fingers ]

When she bump's into you
[ bump into her back and make her laugh ]

When she tell's you a secret
[ keep it safe and untold ]

When she looks at you in your eyes
[ dont look away until she does ]

When she misses you
[ she's hurting inside ]

When you break her heart
[ the pain never really goes away ]

When she says its over
[ she still wants you to be hers ]


- Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her

- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

- Tease her and let her tease you back.

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

- Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;

"Who's ass do i have to kick?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.
Message you.
Guys post as: "i'd be this boyfriend."

Girls post as: "A true boyfriend" or "what a boyfriend should do




Relevant blog entry to follow.

Ghostwriter

That's what I'm listening to. The title of this entry is what I'm listening to. I wouldn't be surprised if I started doing that. It doesn't matter. Moving on.

My break was okay. Getting back was okay. Both places are nice to be at for a certain amount of time. I rearranged the room and put up a little tree. It's cute. I broke one of the ornaments, and there was glass all over the floor. Oopsie!

Now that's I've got the formalities out of the way, here I can go on to what I was thinking about writing last night when I got into bed. I couldn't really sleep (nothing to do with my last entry, which I'm trying to make obsolete right now) and I thought about this entry then but I knew I didn't have the energy to write it.

First, a thought: Imagine that you only had a certain number of breaths? Like, a number. A million or something. WHOA. That would be really scary to stumble into some place and find a bunch of timers with your name on it. I guess I thought about that as I was waking up.

Alright. I'm trying to remember the specifics of my thoughts, and I guess I'm doing a crummy job of it. It involved complaining, kinda, about things I don't like (roar of surprise). There were a few things that have been bugging me lately, however I can only remember one of them. Good. Les go.

Recently, within the past few years but specifically within the past year or so, I've found that I wanted a good camera. Alright, that's great, whatever. Then I start to reconsider. If I get a really good camera, I'm going to just run around and be like "BUTTERFLY ON A FLOWER OVER EXPOSE IT QUICK" or other shit like that. I know I'd do it, because any senior in high school/college kid with a really nice camera feels that way. You just shoot shit. But goddammit that does not make you a photographer or even good at photography. What happened to composition?! What happened to a picture that wasn't just something giant taking up the whole frame?! It's starting to drive me nuts! I'm sorry. It just is! Owning a good camera and liking photography does not mean you are good at it. Plain and simple.
I guess I don't have much right to say any of this ("Who do you think you are you don't understand you don't even have a nice camera like that Canon one you saw in the Best Buy ad you want that don't you yeah"). Yeah, alright. Shut up. As someone who loves art and grew up essentially in it, I think I have a right to be saying some of this. All I'm saying is that I may not know everything about photography (it hasn't been been my focus, anyway) but I do know things about art, and hot damn do they translate. You people aren't artists. YOU MAKE ME SICK.
Obviously, over exaggeration, but there it is. I'm sorry to be acting like such a purist, but I've been kind of on edge lately and this is something thats been bothering me for a while now. I'm happy to have gotten it out.

It's a nice day out.

I'm going crazy and I don't think I can do this anymore. This isn't a cry for help or a reason to be worried. I just really have to learn to speak the fuck up. This isn't anything life threatening. Still, I don't know how much longer I can go on living like this.

I apologize. I hate cryptic journal posts, and here I am.

PUSH IT REAL GOOD

So yeah, I'm pretty bored, which is why I'm writing another blog entry. Right? Right. I don't know. Today was pretty dummy. I've been studying like its nobodies business for this stupid Bio test today, which I don't think I did well on at all. But hey! I studied! For the first time in ever. So that's good. So that's over, and I'm trying to recover from it. I still have the labs to do (for like the past 3 weeks) and uhhh the poster due next week. Also German Film essay. We'll see what happens. I guess I'm stressed, but I don't really care.
I woke up early today (7!) and Travis and I ate breakfast and then went to take the test. Then we lumbered around my room for a while. Then we went to his room and watched Wet Hot American Summer. Then I went to philosophy and almost fell asleep, and then things happened, and now I'm here. I guess I'm going to that thing tonight, that thing... in the Student Union... for performing people. Sure. Whatever. I'm tired. Leave me alone.

I guess that's all I have to say. Hopefully I'll get up the nerve to make my movie with Travis and Kevin. It's going to be fun! It was all my idea! It's exciting. Also, our commercial should be up on the 13th, which is also cool. I'm sorry for my lack of enthusiasm! I'm so damn sleepy!! Okay. Okay. I just had a coffee so hopefully that'll kick in. Soon. Maybe.

:3

Okay, gunna maybe do work (no).

Wahhh

I love New York 2 is the best show ever.

Anyway, the weekend was okay. I just feel bad that I haven't posted in like a month. I'm sure things have been up. Oh well.

Uh... Yeah.

weeooowweeeeeeeeeeeeeweeweweewe

Hello. I'm very anxious because I really want to clean my room, but I don't have the energy for it. It's not messy! Per se. But I'd love to stop being such a goddamn pack rat. Its painful. Painfully painful. And I need to fix it. Anyway.

This weekend was, all thing accounted for, fun. Friday night Travis and I saw The Arabian Nights with John and Brenna. Then... I don't remember. Oh I got Wendy's. Yum. Then stuff happened and it was Saturday, and we worked on commercial stuff for basically 11 hours (apparently very light work) and then poof! Did the commercial. I am excluding Sunday. Sunday was a shitty day and therefore cut from being in the weekend.

I curled my hair for the commercial and it looked cute. I think I'm going to curl my hair more often. If I have time, that is. And a reason to curl it.

This week is shaping up to be pretty crappy if I don't time things well, so please Jesus I hope I do okay. I'm sick of things falling apart! I gotta stop letting them.

I don't feel like sleeping, but I don't have a choice. I guess. We'll see.

Sorry, anyway.

Finished filming Aquafresh Commercial at around 3:17. Did really bad!! Sad!!! Discouraged!!

I need you...

Going to film the Aquafresh commercial very soon. Like within the next half hour. Excited! Nervous!!!

Sad! Sad! Sad!

:(

Baconator!

It really feels like all of my posts bring up my Bio Lab in one way or another. And if they don't, they should to better illustrate my point. Anyway.

Today was okay. I woke up kinda on time. I didn't have a class until 1 but I got myself up and kind of moving at like 9:45. It was a big accomplishment, and I am proud of myself.

Anyway. Then I went to my Linguistics discussion, which was stupid because I had to walk there and WHY WHY WAS IT SO HOT?! I guess after losing some of my precious life-blood (i.e., "blood") I've not been as rambunctious as I used to be. This is a lie. I am very inactive and will die inside a house, sitting very comfortably in a chair. But yeah, it was hot. Then I went to Bio Lab. It was okay. We got out an hour and a half early. That was cool because I hate being there because Bio you are hard for me right brainerz. Then I did stuff and then it was time to get ready. For the fun! I guess I mean I went to Improv again. I did not do the Improv. I am not an Improver :( . This has been said before, Andrea, MOVE ON!
I guess that's all. A lot of people there tonight. I got claustrophobic a little because hey, who wouldn't. I'm sorry. I am very sleepers.

Uh... uh... I guess I'm still trying to get okay with this haircut. I'm glad I don't have long hair, but boh. Short hair... I just have to look cute all the time. And hey, I can do it, but bohdohbohhhh. It's hard to want to act cute :/. LIFE SUCKS.

I don't know what I'm doing this weekend yet. Oh, hopefully something fun. I think it'd be good for my soul and, to a lesser extent, my confidence, to get out and do something fun. Yes? Yes. Sleepers now.

Shawty cool as a fan

I gave blood yesterday. I think that's a pretty good thing for me to do seeing as I have type O blood. Type O!!! How freaking cool is that. VERY. VERY COOL.

Um, let's see, what else. Travis and Kevin and I are going to make an Aquafresh commercial and try and win. We should! The movies up there suck!! I'm very excited for this. Hopefully we'll win. I have a pretty good idea for it, anyway :3

I played RE4 for the Wii today in Travis' room. I mean I bought it over the weekend... even though I already, you know, own it for the PS2 and have... beat it and all. I'm an idiot. Thirty bucks! I need that for food and stuff.

Let's see. I'm sick of everyone talking about bad movies and claiming them to define our generation or something like that. You're wrong. Fight Club is stupid. Moulin Rouge! is stupid. Ewan McGregor is a gift to the world, but that movie is awful! Romeo + Juliet?! "SWORD" ON GUNS?! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
I will never claim to be a big movie person but I will certainly complain when I know something for sure. I know these things for sure. I'm not saying this because I didn't like the movie. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Onto something new.

No Zombie Movie updates, but hopefully we'll get moving on that. I think we're probably going to have to do it in Brookfield, only because it's a little easier. Plus... I forget why else. I'm sure a good reason. Whatever.

I should do my Bio Lab, but gosh darnit, I really don't want to.

Improv tomorrow, which seems like a shiny beacon of shiny beacons.

Going to see Jelly this weekend. He's already so big! I can't wait. He's so cute. Michelle and Patrick, too. Really excited to see them, too.

Yup. Aight. All I got for right now.

I'm black, handsome, I sing, plus I'm rich and I'm a flirt

Hey there blog. I guess I'll go right into my weekend, huh! I suppose I can start with the ride home... no. That's dumb. ... Kevin and I watched The Simpsons. It was fun and worth mentioning. Shut up. I'm sleepers.
I went to visit Travis' family later, and that was nice, seeing his family and pets and stuff. I'm glad they missed me! Hum... oh, yes. Then Travis and I decided to go see Across the Universe since there was nothing else to do. We saw it. I didn't like it. I don't think I'll have to offend too many people on here (are you kidding Andrea? You've complained about it several times on Facebook. You are a bitch) but UGHHHH. I'm sorry! It sucked! It wasn't smart! It was stupid!
Listen. I love The Beatles. I sometimes like movies. I didn't not like this Beatles movie. Except, you know, Max, who was the only redeeming part sometimes. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I cannot lie.
Then Saturday came. Stuff happened and we saw Resident Evil: Extinction. This also sucked, but that shouldn't be surprising. Then we ate lasagna. Then... then I don't know. We watched Waiting for Guffman to both please our aching Christopher Guest itch and to cleanse our minds from the crap we spend the past two days complaining about.

Then it was Sunday. I got a new phone! A pink razr! ... Razor? V3??? Yeah. It's pretty cool. I'm trying to take extra good care of it because well... it's precious to me. You know how it is. Whatever.

Tomorrow I have to go to my adviser so she can tell me that I still don't know what I'm doing and I can tell her "yep" and then I'll major in housewifery or something. I don't know. I suck.

Travis and I are trying to get serious about our zombie movie. We decided it would be easier to lampoon zombie movies (i know I KNOW I KNOW UUUGHH) Airplane! style. If we could do it, I'd be happy. I would be. Like this. :oD Big nose! I'm so tired.

I guess, I don't know, German Film tomorrow. That's pretty cool. He's sweaty, but nice. The prof I mean. Who else would I be talking about? I'm leaving.

Much Apu about CRAP

I thin it's time for me to dedicate an entry to Nanook, who is hands down the cutest thing on the planet.
Now, listen to me. This is the cutest damn stuffed animal I've ever met (An aside: Diggs was also very cute, and helped me through some tough times last year, but this guy... he's something else)

So uh... yeah there's the picture of him. He's the little beanie baby husky. I mean, ooohhh! He's so damn cute! And we make his little head move, and respond, and no this isn't creepy WHY DO YOU THINK THIS IS CREEPY?
You will also notice my Simpsons poster in the picture. It's so lame. It's like a 'Classic Quotes' poster made by some douche who picks quotes seemingly at random (also; some are misquoted, and there are more spelling errors than I'm comfortable with). But I had a really cool idea when I bought it, that Kevin and Travis and I will write the name of the episode over the people who say the quotes. I thought that was so cool. We're only doing a little bit at a time because... because it's fun. We're saving the Simpson family for last. We're really big Simpsons losers. But hey, whatever, at least I know what I'm talking about.

OH MY GOD A LITTLE BUG KEEPS FLYING AROUND MY COMPUTER HERE I GO TO KILL IT WATCH: GRR. It heard me get a tissue. It'll be BACK THERE IT IS!!!... Gone again! Anyway, back to the picture.

Um... You also see a Mac in the picture. Macs are fun for art people and people (see also: girls) who like to take a lot of pictures of themselves (PS I got the bug).

Travis is also in this picture. Travis is nice, and I like him.

I think I'm going home this weekend, which is kind of cool, kind of not. I mean I'll be home alone friday night which is NO NOT FUN because... I'm scared of zombies and I won't sleep :(. We'll see what happens.

To be consistent with daily events, my discussion and lab went fine. Actually, my Bio lab was really fine because it seemed a lot shorter than it was last time. Plus, I don't know, there was less to do. Then I ate two wings and an apple. Then I had some Wendy's after Improv, which I went to. There's been some pressure (hesitant to use that word) on me to, you know, perform stuff and I don't know, I really don't think it's up my alley. I like being funny and shit, but I've never HAD to be funny. I know it's not like that there. Still, you know, having no experience with being in front of people or like theatre or that shit, I just don't know if I could do it right. We'll see. I'll read books on how to do the improv. I'm kidding. I don't read.

Anyway, it's.... 3:10 and I have a 9:00 am class and BOH. I don't wanna go. Or write an intelligent design paper. Fack that man.

Alright, here I go. Goodnight, blog. Goodnight, Nanook!

More tomato? YES, PLEASE!

I told you I'd be back! Here I am! I did most of what I had to do, except you know the pre-lab but who needs that it's like pre-ejaculatory fluid i mean come on people who's with me

So yeah, I think I'm getting a job at Whitney. Which means, above everything, wearing a hat. I like hats, but I have a small head and it causes problems. I almost hit control+s. I've been doing that all day JUST IN CASE the computer decides to explode everything I haven't saved yet. I apologize. I went to bed very late last night.

I haven't played video games in a few days, which is only worthy of mention because I've done it nearly everyday since I got my hands on either the N64 or Gamecube. I don't know. It's nice to take a break. I refuse to delve too deeply into personal things, but life is getting pretty boring for me. I don't know what this means yet. I can't admit that I need to get up off my bum and do something fun (=anything), and I won't admit that this break in routine will involve something extremely life changing. I won't go into it. There's no reason to go into it.

Just, I'm struggling a little bit with myself and everything else right now and it's becoming more of a nuisance than a push in the right direction. I don't mean to complain. I'm sorry. It's just hard. Things started to really settle this past summer and things started to make sense -- really make sense -- for once (ughhhhhhhhhh). I know, I know. It's just this uncertainty I'm feeling is throwing me off and I guess making me a little worried. I really thought I had all my ducks in a row. I don't know. We'll see.

In other news, I was really hot today. I know it was hot, but I was about five degrees hotter than I needed to be.

I'm sleepers. I think I earned this.

See that building up there? That's a hotspital. Gotta lotta beds in there.

What the hell, why do I always put off my Bio lab shit until Wednesday? I SUCK

So uhh... I think I really came on here to say
What the hell, why is facebook being so boring today how am i supposed to distract myself i mean i'm a teenage girl jesus christ

I'll post for realsies later, I think.

STOP

I'm really tired but I don't know how well I'll be able to sleep knowing that I have alot of scary stuff to redo in Resident Evil (remake) because a shark ate me because I WAS TRYING TO CONSERVE INK RIBBONS BUT I DIED BECAUSE THE SHAAARK ATE ME.
There's this room with a body hanging from the ceiling and you find a suicide note and it was funny because first Kevin was reading it and then he misread like "misery" and said "mithery" and then Travis read it like a flamboyant man and it was funny! Ha ha! Then you went into the bathroom to check things out. But oh noooo!!!!! A thump and scary music!!! You have to go out there at some point!! Kevin made me do it. I blew his head off. It was terrifying and now I have to do it again. Dammit!

So uh yeah. Kevin left about ten minutes ago. We were playing Smash Bros Melee for a while. I played as Donkey Kong and he was Bowser, whose taunt is so damn cool. We won! We beat the super bitch duo, Pitch and Zelda. It was amazing. Good for us.

I have two classes tomorrow but I get to wake up a little later. I still have stuff to do for Bio. Oh, right; I probably failed the test today.

I'm going to try and sleep, even though z-o-m-b-i-e-s are scary tonight. I think I'll be fine. Mary will beat them up for me.

I'll post that script thing later. It's on facebook. It doesn't even need to be here now. But I promised this blog, and dammit I'm going to stick with it.

Oh, I can put pictures in, huh? Alright. Let's do this.

(It's at the top. Why? Oh well.)

I forgot that I made this

This is a little embarrassing, that I forgot that I made one of these like two months ago, but whatever. That's fine. I got a little bored of posting in Livejournal so I made this, which I guess really did nothing but give me a different text box to write stuff in. Shut up Andrea.

Today in German Film, I wrote a script (very, very hesitant to use that word) while I was supposed to be watching 'M', which I really wanted to watch but for reason I can't explain I just couldn't. So, I am going to post what I wrote. Because it feels good to have things on the internet. Only not now, because I need to study for Biology and I haven't really done that yet and oh jesus i'm going to fail the test tomorrow.

Really I'm going to go do that.

Day Two

I had a hard time concentrating during work. Right underneath my ribs felt like it was being punched by someone not very strong, but still just strong enough. Kept replaying events from the day before. Denied it for a while. Forgot about it for a while. Did a good job of holding back most of what I was feeling for most of the afternoon. Bought the balloons and some ribbons. Wrote nice things on them for Wilson (and my Grampa). (Shannon - blue and purple, Travis - green and yellow, me - pink and orange). Tied ribbons to them ("MVP", "Best Friend Award", "Spirit Award"). Let them go. Got pictures.
Still occasionally hit very hard with this. It's getting harder, and I think it's going to be that way for a while.

Miss him alot.