Get Back, Jojo

Hello. I'm probably not going to write anything regarding the last entry, which is just bullshit and should remain at that. Silly for women to think that men have feelings, too! I mean hell, if a girl is upset and keeps telling her boyfriend to get the fuck out, it should make sense that he should stay. That's what we really want. Even if that were true (which, admittedly... sometimes, yes) what the hell are you thinking. That last entry was about abuse. I'm done with it. (Smack, spill)

Onto more recent and better things. I had something really cool to say, I thought of it in the shower but I've forgotten it. Then I talked about forgetting it for a sentence. Andrea, get it together.

Without being too open about this, something changed recently, somehow, and things are getting so much brighter and warmer and real. It's great. I've been waiting for this for a while. I'm happy its here.

So I'm thinking of writing something (a story? a... script? something?) and then collaboratin' with Travis. To make a movie. I have to decide what it's going to be about. I thought of some ideas recently, which is good to know that something creative in me is moving again. I thought about a short film I could write, and surprisingly it had one character (that isn't the surprising part), it was that it was a woman. I won't go into this too much, but for very good and very legitimate reasons I don't like women in my stories, etc. I can never find the right one (character that is) and even if I did, I wouldn't trust anyone with her. It's tricky. Men are neutral. If it's a woman you think too hard about the fact that it's a woman. That's how I feel anyway. But right, movie.
As I was trying to fall asleep last night I kind of settled on the idea that I would do something around or related to Christmas. Travis and I really love Christmas, and it just feels right to have this first partnership (if you will) be heavily (to an extent, of course) centered around something we both can connect to. Makes sense. If this works out and something incredible happens and we become an incredible duo in the film industry, I won't need to fall back on such cheesy things as Christmastime. Still, at the risk of sounding like a total bitch, Travis and I can naturally connect in life, and I can only imagine that it translates to something we both love to do. I have faith in this. I really hope that whatever connection we have can be, I don't know, felt in whatever product comes out of this. I can't explain to you why I want that, but I do.
I don't know if Travis knows this, but since things are starting to change and I'm trying to open my wings a little more, I've been interested in film and stuff for a long time now and I always thought it would be some kind of amazing to be involved in something like that. For a while I was content just writing, but even if you get published in a way I feel like it's still more for yourself. I know that's not how everyone thinks, but it is for me. I always felt like it would be such a rush to see something you wrote and people you created and situations you've experienced in one way or another -- I don't know. It's something I wish I could really be just a little more a part of. Part of me is dying to be. I don't know if he knows that. To that extent, anyway.

I have alot of work to do, but I might be trying to flex my writing muscle a little today. Also, I'm going to (I WILL DO IT I WILL!) actually start a "Movie Club"... "Film Club" whatever. I don't care what it's called, the point is there is going to be movies and they will be watched and enjoyed. As primitive as this sounds, theres a little more of a structure to it and I'm really excited about the idea. I have 5 or so people behind me, and I don't think it would be hard to find people when the basis of this group is "watch some movies talk about them talk about directors whatever we'll have fun". It'll work.

I watched The Lives of Others in German Film. I liked this movie alot, however sappy it was. I haven't felt that good at the end of a movie since, hell, since I've seen A Mighty Wind.

I'm out of here. I have to eat and do work. Gatdaymn.