Nothin' to get hung about

Hi. School is going well. I'm only enrolled in 4 classes but I should be adding another one. That's all thats really interesting about that. My English class is nice. I like it. It's making me think about majoring in English. Fine, I'll do it, and just get this damn major thing over with. I'll feel better and I won't have to say "Um, Undecided?" anymore, and even though people will ask me if I really like reading that much I'll live. I think this is something that can help me. I think it really is... if I let it, anyway.

I've been so frustrated lately, especially with my creative side. Since school started I haven't been able to sketch or write or even doodle -- I mean I guess I could, it's just I've had no motivation, no inspiration. I always thought that it was bullshit, because I was always able to crank something out, especially if I was feeling low (It's unfortunate that that state of mind does help create some amazing things). The problem is, I've been feeling low, sometimes very low, and nothing happens. I can't even think about looking at paper. I'm afraid that everything I worked so hard for is just going to drain out of me -- everytime I think about whether or not I can do it or not and decide not to, I can feel part of my talent seeping out of me. I'm not saying I had something incredible that could change the world, but I know that I had something there. Above all, I had passion and drive and I wanted to do it more than anything. I drew some today, but theres nothing there... I can't feel anything there! I'm starting to lose myself as an artist and it's terrifying. That was the one constant, solid thing in my life, and now I'm slowly separating from it and I don't know what to do. I want to be able to write something, but I can't even get one small idea down. I know I can't push things, I know I can't push things, but sometimes I feel like if I don't I'll forget everything everything everything

I didn't think this would ever be topping the list of my anxieties, but it is. This is ridiculous. I need to want to do this again... I need help...

I drew a picture of Bulbasaur and Charmander, and I think they were pretty cute. If my scanner worked, I'd put them up here.