Nothin' to get hung about

Hi. School is going well. I'm only enrolled in 4 classes but I should be adding another one. That's all thats really interesting about that. My English class is nice. I like it. It's making me think about majoring in English. Fine, I'll do it, and just get this damn major thing over with. I'll feel better and I won't have to say "Um, Undecided?" anymore, and even though people will ask me if I really like reading that much I'll live. I think this is something that can help me. I think it really is... if I let it, anyway.

I've been so frustrated lately, especially with my creative side. Since school started I haven't been able to sketch or write or even doodle -- I mean I guess I could, it's just I've had no motivation, no inspiration. I always thought that it was bullshit, because I was always able to crank something out, especially if I was feeling low (It's unfortunate that that state of mind does help create some amazing things). The problem is, I've been feeling low, sometimes very low, and nothing happens. I can't even think about looking at paper. I'm afraid that everything I worked so hard for is just going to drain out of me -- everytime I think about whether or not I can do it or not and decide not to, I can feel part of my talent seeping out of me. I'm not saying I had something incredible that could change the world, but I know that I had something there. Above all, I had passion and drive and I wanted to do it more than anything. I drew some today, but theres nothing there... I can't feel anything there! I'm starting to lose myself as an artist and it's terrifying. That was the one constant, solid thing in my life, and now I'm slowly separating from it and I don't know what to do. I want to be able to write something, but I can't even get one small idea down. I know I can't push things, I know I can't push things, but sometimes I feel like if I don't I'll forget everything everything everything

I didn't think this would ever be topping the list of my anxieties, but it is. This is ridiculous. I need to want to do this again... I need help...

I drew a picture of Bulbasaur and Charmander, and I think they were pretty cute. If my scanner worked, I'd put them up here.

Shawty lemme holla at you, you so hot hot hot hot

It's already Friday! What the hell did I do this week? I don't know.
Oh, well Mary came up. Right. And I hung out with Kevin the other day. That day needs to be elaborated on, in the next paragraph... starting now.

Travis and Kevin and I are going to be making a video game! I'm excited, however not nearly as excited as the boys are. I'm a little nervous because I know I can make something cool and interesting (I'm handling alot of the art stuff) but I'm not sure if it's going to be executed in the way that I'm imagining. I just want it to be good. But enough about that. It's just a fun idea, this video game thing, and I'm excited to see what happens. Kevin has a program that you can make stuff like this on, so that's cool. Travis is going to/has already begun writing music for it which makes ME SO JEALOUS IF I COULD DO THAT I WOULD WANT THAT JOB SO BAD IT LOOKS SO EASY but really, Travis is a very good musician and I don't think it should be any other way (more on this later). It's going to be an RPG and that's cool. We all like RPGs. We have yet to make characters and stuff. I know. Interesting! The point is, wow, if this works it could be so damn cool. And that's all I'm going to say about that for the time being.

Speaking of Travis being cool, with some gentle coercing I convinced him to make a music MySpace whatchamadoodle and I'm also excited about this! (apparently this blog steals all my synonym powers away from me) I just think that it's about damn time that Travis got his stuff out there for people to hear because he's really good. And I'm not just being a kiss-ass. I just hope he realizes that what he's got is (I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry) a gift, and a pretty amazing one at that. Everyone needs to know! Everyone needs to hear D-Block! I'm kidding, of course, but I think this little boost is what he needs. And I can't imagine that it won't help me realize that I've got something good going, too. I want to embrace what I have and what I can do. It's high time I get on that.

It was raining really hard this morning, and that was neat. I like the rain (dur), but not necessarily being in it. Because jean material and rain is like the worst thing I can think of that. Whatever.

I've been a bum for the first half of this day, so I think I'm going to try and make myself feel like something worthwhile.

Hello

I think that not writing in my blog has been one of the reasons I've been so cranky and stuff over break. Maybe not. We're about to find out.
Break has been ok. I worked only for like a week (woops) and since then I've been sleeping and getting scolded by my parents and jesus how am I going to pay for books I mean I am seriously screwed people. But aside from that, break's been good. My dad is doing some thing thats in the paper. Like they hide a medallion and give you clues as to where it is and then you find it and the prize is a big ol' flat screen TV. So he's been out hiking for the past however-many days trying to find it. The reason I'm bringing this is up is I haven't gone out to look yet. And I don't know if I should be grateful or not.

Let's see, let's see. I had a pretty good Christmas. Got some things I wanted, which is cool. Bum... yeah. Oop! There's a kitty at my feet and I didn't know it. Sorry, kitty!

Went to see Sweeney Todd and Juno within the past week. As a rule I hate going out to see movies (very little about the experience makes it better to watch), but I've been trying to work on that (Travis likes movies, after all) so yeah. Sweeney Todd. Not my favorite. Putting aside the fact that I can't stand Tim Burton movies, I just didn't like it. And I think no one can call me a 'purist' or something because it wasn't like the stage version or whatever, since I haven't seen Sweeney Todd before in any capacity. I just didn't like it. It was too loud and it felt like the entire movie was screaming "SWEENEY TODDDDDD IS INSAAAAAANEEEEE LISTEN TO THE MUSIIIICCCC". I guess all I'm trying to say is I would have preferred something not so over-dramatic. However, Alan Rickman was a pleasure to see and hear. Also, Sacha Baron Cohen was funny. I liked him, too. To conclude this review, I had no idea that people would love this movie as much as they do. I guess the thrill of seeing a musical with blood and Johnny Depp is so overwhelming and, apparently, atypical that people are just eating it up. Maybe I'm wrong. But it seems a little stupid that there's so much brouhaha over this movie. Again, that's just me. But on to bigger and better things...

... NOT! I'm here to talk about Juno. I had a hard time with this movie. I wanted to like it so bad. I really did. I know how I am with movies and I'm really quick to dismiss them at the first sign of any stupid dialogue but goddammit I tried. Juno's character was rude and stupid and I didn't like her. Not when she cried or anything. I wanted to, but they made her say such stupid shit that I could brush past all that. Micheal Cera was cute. He did the thing he usually does and that's okay. Jennifer Garner was cute too. I liked her a lot. It's just I couldn't help but watch this movie and think that it was just funny, snappy quotes to use, one after the other. I couldn't stand anything anyone said. With that out of the way, I liked the idea of the movie and stuff and at times it was pretty cute. I'm trying. But again, I don't see anything special about that movie. I'm going to say, Sweeney Todd > Juno.
I haven't seen a movie I liked in a long time so I'm just starting to get used to not liking whatever I see. This needs to change. I need to see something I like. With that said, I think I'm going to go get ready for the day. I still have some boots I got for Christmas that don't fit that I need to return (what a horrible sentence). So there. Here I go.