To all the men trying to bring back chivalry and all its virtues:
Please, don't. You're making a fool (and a pussy) out of yourself. Just cut it out.


In other, great news, Travis and I have come up with an excellent idea for another movie. Details to follow, perhaps.

Get Back, Jojo

Hello. I'm probably not going to write anything regarding the last entry, which is just bullshit and should remain at that. Silly for women to think that men have feelings, too! I mean hell, if a girl is upset and keeps telling her boyfriend to get the fuck out, it should make sense that he should stay. That's what we really want. Even if that were true (which, admittedly... sometimes, yes) what the hell are you thinking. That last entry was about abuse. I'm done with it. (Smack, spill)

Onto more recent and better things. I had something really cool to say, I thought of it in the shower but I've forgotten it. Then I talked about forgetting it for a sentence. Andrea, get it together.

Without being too open about this, something changed recently, somehow, and things are getting so much brighter and warmer and real. It's great. I've been waiting for this for a while. I'm happy its here.

So I'm thinking of writing something (a story? a... script? something?) and then collaboratin' with Travis. To make a movie. I have to decide what it's going to be about. I thought of some ideas recently, which is good to know that something creative in me is moving again. I thought about a short film I could write, and surprisingly it had one character (that isn't the surprising part), it was that it was a woman. I won't go into this too much, but for very good and very legitimate reasons I don't like women in my stories, etc. I can never find the right one (character that is) and even if I did, I wouldn't trust anyone with her. It's tricky. Men are neutral. If it's a woman you think too hard about the fact that it's a woman. That's how I feel anyway. But right, movie.
As I was trying to fall asleep last night I kind of settled on the idea that I would do something around or related to Christmas. Travis and I really love Christmas, and it just feels right to have this first partnership (if you will) be heavily (to an extent, of course) centered around something we both can connect to. Makes sense. If this works out and something incredible happens and we become an incredible duo in the film industry, I won't need to fall back on such cheesy things as Christmastime. Still, at the risk of sounding like a total bitch, Travis and I can naturally connect in life, and I can only imagine that it translates to something we both love to do. I have faith in this. I really hope that whatever connection we have can be, I don't know, felt in whatever product comes out of this. I can't explain to you why I want that, but I do.
I don't know if Travis knows this, but since things are starting to change and I'm trying to open my wings a little more, I've been interested in film and stuff for a long time now and I always thought it would be some kind of amazing to be involved in something like that. For a while I was content just writing, but even if you get published in a way I feel like it's still more for yourself. I know that's not how everyone thinks, but it is for me. I always felt like it would be such a rush to see something you wrote and people you created and situations you've experienced in one way or another -- I don't know. It's something I wish I could really be just a little more a part of. Part of me is dying to be. I don't know if he knows that. To that extent, anyway.

I have alot of work to do, but I might be trying to flex my writing muscle a little today. Also, I'm going to (I WILL DO IT I WILL!) actually start a "Movie Club"... "Film Club" whatever. I don't care what it's called, the point is there is going to be movies and they will be watched and enjoyed. As primitive as this sounds, theres a little more of a structure to it and I'm really excited about the idea. I have 5 or so people behind me, and I don't think it would be hard to find people when the basis of this group is "watch some movies talk about them talk about directors whatever we'll have fun". It'll work.

I watched The Lives of Others in German Film. I liked this movie alot, however sappy it was. I haven't felt that good at the end of a movie since, hell, since I've seen A Mighty Wind.

I'm out of here. I have to eat and do work. Gatdaymn.

I'm sorry this is going to be the only thing in this post, but...

When she walks away from you mad
[ Follow her ]

When she stare's at your mouth
[ Kiss her ]

When she pushes you or hit's you
[ Grab her and dont let go ]

When she start's cursing at you
[ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]

When she's quiet
[ Ask her whats wrong ]

When she ignore's you
[ Give her your attention ]

When she pull's away
[ Pull her back ]

When you see her at her worst
[ Tell her she's beautiful ]

When you see her start crying
[Just hold her and dont say a word ]

When she's scared
[ Protect her ]

When she lay's her head on your shoulder
[ Tilt her head up and kiss her ]

When she steal's your favorite shirt
[ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]

When she tease's you
[ Tease her back and make her laugh ]

When she doesnt answer for a long time
[ reassure her that everything is okay ]

When she say's that she love's you
[ she really does more than you could understand ]

When she grab's at your hands
[ Hold her's and play with her fingers ]

When she bump's into you
[ bump into her back and make her laugh ]

When she tell's you a secret
[ keep it safe and untold ]

When she looks at you in your eyes
[ dont look away until she does ]

When she misses you
[ she's hurting inside ]

When you break her heart
[ the pain never really goes away ]

When she says its over
[ she still wants you to be hers ]


- Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her

- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

- Tease her and let her tease you back.

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

- Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;

"Who's ass do i have to kick?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.
Message you.
Guys post as: "i'd be this boyfriend."

Girls post as: "A true boyfriend" or "what a boyfriend should do




Relevant blog entry to follow.

Ghostwriter

That's what I'm listening to. The title of this entry is what I'm listening to. I wouldn't be surprised if I started doing that. It doesn't matter. Moving on.

My break was okay. Getting back was okay. Both places are nice to be at for a certain amount of time. I rearranged the room and put up a little tree. It's cute. I broke one of the ornaments, and there was glass all over the floor. Oopsie!

Now that's I've got the formalities out of the way, here I can go on to what I was thinking about writing last night when I got into bed. I couldn't really sleep (nothing to do with my last entry, which I'm trying to make obsolete right now) and I thought about this entry then but I knew I didn't have the energy to write it.

First, a thought: Imagine that you only had a certain number of breaths? Like, a number. A million or something. WHOA. That would be really scary to stumble into some place and find a bunch of timers with your name on it. I guess I thought about that as I was waking up.

Alright. I'm trying to remember the specifics of my thoughts, and I guess I'm doing a crummy job of it. It involved complaining, kinda, about things I don't like (roar of surprise). There were a few things that have been bugging me lately, however I can only remember one of them. Good. Les go.

Recently, within the past few years but specifically within the past year or so, I've found that I wanted a good camera. Alright, that's great, whatever. Then I start to reconsider. If I get a really good camera, I'm going to just run around and be like "BUTTERFLY ON A FLOWER OVER EXPOSE IT QUICK" or other shit like that. I know I'd do it, because any senior in high school/college kid with a really nice camera feels that way. You just shoot shit. But goddammit that does not make you a photographer or even good at photography. What happened to composition?! What happened to a picture that wasn't just something giant taking up the whole frame?! It's starting to drive me nuts! I'm sorry. It just is! Owning a good camera and liking photography does not mean you are good at it. Plain and simple.
I guess I don't have much right to say any of this ("Who do you think you are you don't understand you don't even have a nice camera like that Canon one you saw in the Best Buy ad you want that don't you yeah"). Yeah, alright. Shut up. As someone who loves art and grew up essentially in it, I think I have a right to be saying some of this. All I'm saying is that I may not know everything about photography (it hasn't been been my focus, anyway) but I do know things about art, and hot damn do they translate. You people aren't artists. YOU MAKE ME SICK.
Obviously, over exaggeration, but there it is. I'm sorry to be acting like such a purist, but I've been kind of on edge lately and this is something thats been bothering me for a while now. I'm happy to have gotten it out.

It's a nice day out.

I'm going crazy and I don't think I can do this anymore. This isn't a cry for help or a reason to be worried. I just really have to learn to speak the fuck up. This isn't anything life threatening. Still, I don't know how much longer I can go on living like this.

I apologize. I hate cryptic journal posts, and here I am.

PUSH IT REAL GOOD

So yeah, I'm pretty bored, which is why I'm writing another blog entry. Right? Right. I don't know. Today was pretty dummy. I've been studying like its nobodies business for this stupid Bio test today, which I don't think I did well on at all. But hey! I studied! For the first time in ever. So that's good. So that's over, and I'm trying to recover from it. I still have the labs to do (for like the past 3 weeks) and uhhh the poster due next week. Also German Film essay. We'll see what happens. I guess I'm stressed, but I don't really care.
I woke up early today (7!) and Travis and I ate breakfast and then went to take the test. Then we lumbered around my room for a while. Then we went to his room and watched Wet Hot American Summer. Then I went to philosophy and almost fell asleep, and then things happened, and now I'm here. I guess I'm going to that thing tonight, that thing... in the Student Union... for performing people. Sure. Whatever. I'm tired. Leave me alone.

I guess that's all I have to say. Hopefully I'll get up the nerve to make my movie with Travis and Kevin. It's going to be fun! It was all my idea! It's exciting. Also, our commercial should be up on the 13th, which is also cool. I'm sorry for my lack of enthusiasm! I'm so damn sleepy!! Okay. Okay. I just had a coffee so hopefully that'll kick in. Soon. Maybe.

:3

Okay, gunna maybe do work (no).

Wahhh

I love New York 2 is the best show ever.

Anyway, the weekend was okay. I just feel bad that I haven't posted in like a month. I'm sure things have been up. Oh well.

Uh... Yeah.